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  • Writer's pictureMyoho

The Unity of Husband and Wife

Updated: Dec 16, 2023

Two yellow mugs tied together.

I had never heard of Nichiren Daishonin’s letter The Unity of Husband and Wife until three weeks ago. I was on the phone to a friend talking about relationships and among a number of things she recommended that I do was to read that letter every day until my birthday, by which I would have a victory in that area. So I read it every single day, while trying to chant at least an hour a day and made a determination to have clarity about what I wanted. The night before my birthday I was worried that I might wake up feeling sad that I hadn’t reached relationship goals that I had set previously, but I quickly realised that I have Gohonzon in my life and so can decide how to feel about any situation.

When I woke up on my birthday and did gongyo with 30 mins chanting, I was surprised that I had finally made a firm decision about what I wanted and who I wanted to be with. For way too long I would make a decision, but with each hour I would be swayed constantly by negative thinking. This morning was different though; I had finally made up my mind. I was 100% committed to my decision which made me think of a quote from Daisaku Ikeda:

“When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fibre in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. On the other hand, if you think, “This is never going to work out,” then at that instant every cell in your being will be deflated and give up the fight.”

Those negative thoughts still creep in but I don’t see them as negative anymore, they’re just thoughts. Now that I know which direction I’m going, I will use those thoughts to focus on the human revolution I need to do while that vision for my relationship materialises.

I’m incredibly grateful to my friend for helping me gain clarity. There have been other times when it’s been suggested that I study a particular gosho for a set period, but the way my friend connected to what was in my heart made me listen this time. The Unity of Husband and Wife was definitely the right study material for my life at this time.

What are your experiences of reading Nichiren Daishonin’s letters to his followers?

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