For the past six months I have been diligently supporting Buddhist activities. I enjoy them hence why I volunteer but recently I have been wondering if I was actually doing any human revolution. It may sound odd but I wasn’t satisfied with having fun. I didn’t have a specific thing I was looking for a change in; I just felt I wanted to go deeper in my practice. I wanted to know that I was growing as a person so I spoke to a friend whom I’ve been volunteering with and she told me how she has changed through her Buddhist activities. The conversation ended with me feeling that maybe I hadn’t given myself enough time to see that I was changing.
The next morning I woke up, did morning gongyo and read a quote from my daily calendar of quotes. The quote for the day was “The real benefit of the Mystic Law is inconspicuous. Just as trees grow taller and stronger year after year adding growth rings that are imperceptible to the human eye we too will grow towards a victorious existence. For this reason it is important that we lead tenacious and balanced lives based on faith.” – Daisaku Ikeda. After I read that I realised that that must be it; I’m getting inconspicuous benefit.
In the afternoon I had a meeting scheduled with a senior manager. I was nervous because I didn’t know her and the outcome could potentially mean a whole new exciting career path for me. As she approached me I got even more nervous but then suddenly a thought came into my head: “well she’s a Buddha and I’m a Buddha too”. The minute I thought that all my nervous energy went away. I’ve never ever thought like that. Wow, just wow. Where did that come from?
On my way home I came across someone I didn’t want to see. I don’t know them well at all but I’ve been advised not to engage so when I saw them I was quite fearful because I had to walk past them to get to my house. Immediately when that fear came in I remembered that they’re a Buddha like me, so when I had to speak to them that fear went away.
Once again, where is this change in attitude coming from? This must be the inconspicuous benefit because my thought process is changing for the better. It’s helping me in situations that could cause me to be scared, worried or underperform. How funny that only the night before I was questioning if my practice was changing me.
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